DUDE

Just had the most grueling night ever, except that I made $3500 on it! How could that be??

XXXXX <---- INSERT SHARKSCOPE GRAPH OF MY SUCKAGE HERE

Unfortunately the formatting on the sharkscope graph went to hell, and I'm too tired to fix it, but I busted out of everything I played tonight, or had to settle for penis cash, in almost every game but two. Agonizing soul crush after agonizing soul crush. . . except that in two games out of 40-whatever I actually went deep before being soul crushed. . . so made some nice coin.

In my big cashout, the 3rd place in the 25k guarantee- I had a rather dissapointing finish. After sparring with other final 3 players for almost 45 minutes (these rebuy tourneys have a ton of chips- they're awesome), both of them big winners, I raised 9To on the button to just over the minimum, the small blind flatted and the big blind folded. I very happily bet about 1/2 pot on the flop of QJ8- giving me the nuts! The bb called. He check called the turned King, and led on the river 3 for about half pot. I tanked and wound up shoving as the pot was so large I thought he'd be committed with many worse holdings. He snap called and showed AT for the turned nuts.

OUCH.

After shoving and winning a couple flips in the next two orbits I actually clawed my way back into contention for 2nd place but the blinds had gotten large and my 9x shove was called by the chip leader who was holding K4o which was more than enough to beat my 68s. GG. Both players at the final 3 were very competent so the third place didn't hurt as much as it might normally. . . but I'm definitely starting to get a little nervous about my short handed game as I haven't been able to clinch one of these in awhile.

The crazy, stupid fucked up thing about playing poker for a living is that even though I had a killer night at "work" it was absolutely dreadful to participate in! The wins came late in the night, and were a damn good turn of events for me since I was down $1000 in tournaments already- almost all of them $24-$50 buy ins and just getting fisted every single time I entered the pot until I was screaming at my monitor and pounding my computer mouse every ten minutes! I was livid, bent, frustrated, impatient, I think I went on tilt a dozen times tonight! Thank god for those 5 minute breaks I get to spend with my dogs. They really hook me up at times like that- the look of mortal concern in their eyes reminds me I'm being a total fucktard, and playing with them afterwards is great for the spirits. Dogs rule.

So yeah, the pleasure/pain ratio in poker is totally fucked. After having my mind ground to dust over 40 painful bust outs tonight I finally win some good money- but am STILL left to curse the HOWs of getting only 3rd place (the money for first and even second is much better, and good players take pride in being able to "close the deal"), and the actual money won. . . well it doesn't seem very real right now.

Fuggin lame. But I suppose there could be worse things. Some of my friends take orders, give orders and stand up for up to 16 hours a day. :P